Losing a friend on the Interwebs

I honestly don't know if I'll keep this post, or expand it, make it more generic, or what. My motivation is closure, I guess. And/or an appeal to the person in question. I don't like to get personal on this blog: my personality and relationships; my location and my social status; even my age.. none of that really has anything to do with the type of content I had envisioned for here.

I pointed, perhaps to my regret, to a blog entry here, from my social media page.

I often wondered, in fact, whether I should even let my 'social media family' in on this. By keeping them separate I'd not run the risk of being surrounded by 'yes men'... or at least always being paranoid about that. By keeping them separate, I can continue to keep my social media page reasonably apolitical, and not chasing off potential friends, just because we disagreed on subjects X, Y or Z.

I broke my 'code'. I'm thinking of myself, in a rather sinister way, as Dexter Morgan now! My secret side that my sister has just found out about!

Here's the thing: although I had opportunity, I never met this person 'in real life'. I did, however, share some time and thought with her for short periods of time over the years. I respected her. She made me laugh. Lots. And she always knew about my 'secret side'. Basically, I guess, that I'm unionist. She isn't unionist. She always seemed quite the moderate though.

Just tonight, however, one of my entries on this very blog got her all in a tizzy. She accused me of being petty, and then went on to prove that she was, in fact, the petty one by 'unfriending' me on a popular social media site.

I have to admit to being slightly gobsmacked. I was surprised at her aggressive tone but, I guess when it comes down to it, this woman most definitely had planted her flag and drawn her line in the sand: just like most of us who are born unto the island of Ireland and inherit the sins of our fathers.

I seem to remember her being a Happier friend in times past. And one who seemed more tolerant and fun.

Here's where it gets a little more generic.

Should I care about this woman? After all, I never met her in person.

Well, yes. We had been pretty intimate for a time. There was a fair bit of mutual trust. Was it a big deal? I suspect it wasn't, for either of us. But I also suspect there was a fair bit of fondness over the years, for both of us.

We haven't been close enough that I'm heart-broken. But I'm saddened and disappointed nevertheless.

All because of the etymology of a word.

The thing is though - I was called petty and then, ironically, she severed our social media relationship. After only a few lines of discussion were exchanged.

To be frank, the woman has been hypocritical with me. She berates me for voicing a home truth, but she keeps a blog herself. She berates me and compares me with those kinds of people who, not so long ago, were protesting loudly in Belfast at the democratic decision to only fly the Union Jack from City Hall on certain days of the year.

At the same time, however, she writes in her own blog about how her country's football team (the Republic of Ireland) lost to Spain, and the supporters of the Republic still flew the flag. "We lost the match, and they flew the flag." Tearful, she was. "My heart swelled. I cried actually."

But my wee country - hell none of us are allowed to take any kind of pride in our flag without being thought of as a bigot. I'm not talking about the kind of 'pride' certain kinds of people have at the parades in the summer time. Every time the flag of Northern Ireland is displayed anywhere outside of parades, and for no reason other than the need to feel 'offended', there is a huge fuss and drama made.

My (former) friend is all right though, Jack. She can take pride in the flag of her country and not risk offending anyone, or attracting any kind of trouble. And that's great. I'm Happy for her. Most countries in the world have that freedom.

Northern Ireland has been through hell. Most of that hell was, frankly, brought on by ourselves. Yet we've survived and even managed to flourish, often punching well above our weight on an international scale in the arenas of sports, governance, liberalism, literature, economics, science and invention and many other areas I'm sure. Despite everything everyone (and especially ourselves) has thrown at it.

So am I proud to fly my flag?

You're damn right!

Am I proud to have spread a little culture, even if it is just a word, and that word ended up somehow being reclaimed and re-packaged?

You're damn right!

Dublin's a fair city. But Belfast is the home of good crack!